


Mac and Dennis Have Gay Sex

by idgit_with_a_fidget



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Fade to Black, First Kiss, First Time, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, ish, sorta what it says tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-16
Updated: 2014-03-16
Packaged: 2018-01-15 23:26:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1323190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idgit_with_a_fidget/pseuds/idgit_with_a_fidget
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"Dude, relax, it's two guys so it's, like, twice as manly."</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mac and Dennis Have Gay Sex

_4:09 pm._

_On a Friday._

“Charlie what the hell are you doing?”

Charlie was balancing a bottle of beer on his chin, or at least attempting to.

“Balancing a bottle of beer on my chin, what’s it look like?” he replied, but as soon as he started to speak, the bottle fell and smashed on the floor of the bar. He looked down at it sadly. “Or at least I was attempting to.”

Dee leaned on her mop and arched an eyebrow at the layabout who shrugged guiltily. 

“I’m not cleaning that up,” she said, leaving no room for an argument. “That’s Charlie work.”

Charlie groaned petulantly, taking the mop from her. “Why do _I_ have to do all of the work around here?”

Dee’s jaw dropped and she made a noise of appalled disgust, but Charlie merely tilted his head at her, confused. She took up the bar stool he had previously been perched on and put her chin in her hands, watching Charlie work. She scanned the bar. It was desolate and grubby as always. God, how had she ended up here?

“Why can’t Dennis do some work? He never works. Unless it’s for himself,” Charlie mumbled grouchily.

“Dunno. Where is Dennis anyway?”

***

Dennis marched into the room of the apartment were Mac was playing video games and slammed the door behind him.

“Hey, Mac.”

Mac didn’t even turn to him, his thumbs fluttering across the controller in his hands, his eyes fixated so completely on the game on the screen. He barely had time to utter a quick “yeah?” out the side of his mouth before he was smashing buttons at random. Dennis took a breath.

“Can…can I ask you something?”

Mac grunted with effort as he continued smashing buttons. He was playing Donkey Kong.

“Uh, can it wait, man?” he called distractedly, “I’m nearly finished this game.”

“No, I need to talk to you.”

“Yeah, yeah it’ll only take a second!”

Dennis was getting impatiently, curling his fingers into fists and bouncing a little on the balls of his feet. “Mac, turn off the game.”

“Okay but-”

“Turn off the game!” Dennis darted forward and Mac yelped in panic, kicking at his friend as he tried to unplug the console.

“No, Dennis, hold on!”

“No I-”

“Dennis come on don’t be a dick!”

Dennis wrenched the plug out of its socket as Mac kicked him in the shoulder and toppled backwards onto the carpet. He got up, dusted himself, muttering in annoyance. Mac went from a picture of childish disappointment and disbelief to glowering at him. 

“What did you do that for?!” he yelled accusingly, “You didn’t even let me save it!”

“Well you weren’t gonna pause it! Don’t take a bitch fit about it!”

“Well maybe if you asked _nicely_ nobody would be fitting!” Mac shouted and threw down the controller, crossing his arms across his chest huffily.

Dennis raked his hand through his hair, exasperated. 

“Mac, this is important,” he stressed, irked at how oblivious Mac seemed to be about the anxiety and tightness of his voice.

“Yeah so was that,” Mac gestured to the now-blank television. “I had worked so hard on that game.”

“Listen to me,” Dennis tried again, but talking over Mac was useless.

“I didn’t look up any cheats or anything. Now it’s gonna take forever to load back up cos you didn’t eject the game properly and-”

“Jesus, Mac!” Dennis exploded, vein in his forehead pulsing. “God! Why is it so fucking difficult to talk to you?! I’m _trying_ to initiate an adult, mature conversation for once and you won’t quit acting like a whiny second grader, get a grip!”

Mac splayed his arms, offended. “Hey!”

Dennis shook his head, angered and turned on his heel. “You know what, forget it. Never mind.”

He made for the door and rested his hand on the handle. Mac was suddenly overwhelmed with a sense of guilt and need. He jumped up.

“Wait,” he blurted, and Dennis froze. Mac cursed himself for sounding so desperate. He relaxed his shoulders. “What’s up? What did you want to ask me?”

Dennis turned around and looked Mac up and down, shaking his head again. His expression was confused and pained, as though he was afraid of something. He took a deep breath, but stayed by the door, hovering in case he needed an escape plan. There was a long pause and the silence between them grew thicker with questions neither of them were asking. Dennis finally broke it.

“You remember that time when we got held hostage?”

“By the milky twins, yeah. How could I forget?”

Dennis nodded, his palms unusually damp. Wasn’t like him to be nervous. They both shuddered at the memory. 

“Yeah…well…remember how when things got desperate and they were gonna shoot us and we split into teams and it was me and you, and Dee and Charlie?”

“He totally made out with your sister by the way,” Mac laughed and Dennis had a moment of disgust.

“He-? Okay. Whatever. Well remember when you said…some things?” his pulse was racing with apprehension. _Calm the fuck down. If he answers the way you think he will, it’s kinda like a compliment, yeah? Yeah. Anyone can have a piece of you._

Mac chewed the inside of his cheek thoughtfully. “I remember you telling me I was a great destroyer.”

“Yeah, and…”

Mac shrugged his shoulders. _Has he been working out?_ “Aaand…that’s about it cos I was all stressed out and I thought we were gonna di-”

“You said you loved me,” Dennis interrupted, and the tightness in his chest eased a little. No more tiptoeing. 

***

Dee grinned as she stacked the third shot glass onto Charlie’s chin successfully. Charlie punched the air feebly, not wanting to cause the tower to collapse and they cheered.

“Yes! One more! One more!” he chanted.

***

Mac seized up, visibly taken aback. The colour drained from his cheeks and moved to his neck where a blush crept along his collar bone. “I did say that, didn’t I?”

“So you do remember?”

Mac nodded. “Yeah,” he clapped his hands quickly, hurriedly trying to change the topic of conversation. “So, is that all you wanted to ask me? Great, okay, nice seeing ya!” Mac steered Dennis closer to the door, but the taller one moved away, determined.

“Did you mean it?”

Mac sighed. “Dude, why do you care? Like, if you’re just gonna use it to manipulate me or bully me, I don’t want to hear it. It’s probably gonna be for some narcissistic crap too. Everyone wants to jump Dennis’ bones, huh? That’s what you want to know?”

“No!” _Yes._

_Well. Sort of? No. I…I don’t know._

“Mac, did you mean it?”

Mac laughed sheepishly and shook his head, returning to his games controller and waving a hand. “God, ew, no, gross. The Bible said Adam and Eve not gay is okay, y’know?”

“Mac,” Dennis pressed sternly.

“Yes,” Mac didn’t look at him. “I meant it.”

“…Oh.”

_Now what?_

Mac clasped his hands together again then moved to the television to plug the game back in. “Okay, you got your answer, goodbye now.”

“Do you still mean it?” _Jeez, how long have you been thinking about this stuff?_

“Maybe,” and then with conviction. “Yes.”

“Right.”  
Mac looked as though he wanted the ground to swallow him up. He was just staring at the floor, not moving except his hands winding the cords and wires of the game and the TV in his fingers. Dennis wanted to run, to jump, to punch the air with his fists and celebrate. _Why? Cos he likes you back?_

_What?_

“You know, Mac. I think I have a proposition for you.”

Mac turned his head slowly. “The fuck?”

“You…You want to experiment, I get that, good on you, and…and I’m a trusted ally, yeah?”

“Not really.”

“Shut up, I am so.”

“Are you coming on to me?” Mac asked warily, but there was a quiver of excitement in his tone and a tremble of eagerness in his hands.

“No,” _Yes._ “I…”

“You so are.”

“Look, I was just wanting to offer you a trade.”

“Blow you for an ego boost? Sick, man.”

Dennis scowled at him, and Mac was grinning. _Bickering as foreplay? Kinky._

_Oh my god, shut up._

“You know what, Mac, let’s take this business pitch elsewhere.”

***

 

“Thirteen! Thirteen!”

“Dee, I don’t think I can hold anymore. My jaw is, like, really sore.”

“Thirteen!”

***

They sat on the edge of Mac’s bed at the foot, awkward and sheepish. They didn’t look at one another. Dennis’ hands shook over his knees. _You’ve gone too far. What are you doing?! You don’t love him. You’re going to break him, look at how he said those things. He adores you and you? You value him, but it’s not the same thing._

Mac was trying to stop his heart from hammering so hard and his jeans from getting so tight. 

They stared at the door.

“You sure you want to do this?” Mac asked.

“Sure. It’s just a kiss, dude, hardly…like, difficult,” Dennis reassured himself, adding: “I’ve kissed tons of people,” for good measure. “Do you still want to?”

“Yeah. You have no idea.”

Dennis nodded and he felt like a teenager again. “Alright.”

They turned to face one another, hesitantly making eye contact. 

“You have gorgeous eyes,” Mac mused.

“Dude don’t be so gay.”

They breathed each other’s air and tasted cigarettes and alcohol. They leaned closer and brushed noses. Mac closed his eyes sighing besides himself and parted his lips. Suddenly Dennis flinched and darted back, scrambling to his feet and pressing up against a chest of drawers, breathless despite it all. His hands raked his hair again. Mac’s heart sank and Dennis could see the betrayal and fear and disappointment all over his face.

_Shit shit shit shit._

“What’s wrong?” Mac asked.

Dennis stammered, pacing. “I dunno, it’s just…you’re my friend and, and I want to, jeez, I…I want you-to! I want to!” he corrected himself loudly. “Mac, I’m all for helping you and for letting you know if you still want to, like, like me or, whatever but…I don’t…I’m not…is it camp? I don’t want to be camp, man.”

“Dude, relax, it's two guys so it's, like, twice as manly.”

“Good point.” Dennis caught himself, “Wait, no! Mac, I…”

Mac sighed, dejected and rejected. “S’okay.”

Then suddenly Dennis was in his face, eyes scrunched closed, lips pursed like some ridiculous cartoon, and he kissed Mac chastely and dryly and quickly, without giving the other a moment to close his eyes again. Dennis broke away and they both froze, looking at one another for a moment with a toxic mixture of misunderstanding and mild disgust crossing their faces. Then Dennis blushed.

They crashed their mouths together, hands on faces, on arms, on any skin they could get; desperate and grasping and needy; tugging at clothes and hair. With a moan from Mac, they toppled over onto the sheets.

***

The shot glasses fell over by the fifteenth one and the floor was covered in shattered glass. Charlie had a wound on his face and a circular imprint on his chin which he rubbed at sorely. 

“I think it’s broken.”

“Well that was fun!” Dee chimed, and boredom quickly consumed her again. “What now?”

Charlie looked around absently for something to do. He spotted a guy in a booth who had passed out. There were several pints of beer on the table surrounding him.

“Want to bet how many of those I can stack on his head before he wakes up?”

***

They were a tangle of limbs, sweat, and snark. Cold feet kicking at the sheets, balled fists grasping at the covers, breaths quick and groaning and carrying cries of names and pleads. Dennis had complained when Mac tore his shirt – 

“Awh come on man, have some respect for that fabric!” 

“And you say you didn’t want to be camp.”

\- And they bickered over who got to go where-

 

“Dude get off of me!”

“No, screw you.”

“That was the plan, asshole.”

“Why can’t I top?”

“I thought you were the ‘power bottom’.”

However, otherwise, they found a sense of compatibility and ecstasy, and Dennis would find himself going red any time he thought of the noises Mac made at every well-placed touch and lick. The squirm of his body, the thrash of his legs, the curl of his toes, the feeling of his bitten nails dragging down his chest-

“You begged.”

“I totally didn’t beg.”

“So needy.”

“I am _not_ needy, Mac.”

“You’re a needy gay baby.”

“I’m not talking to you.”

 _You’re so fucked, man._ And in the broad daylight of the apartment, he was.

***

“That’s them all, Dee. He can take them all.”

“That’s great!”

“Dee…I think this guy’s dead.”

“Awh what? Another one?”

***

Mac was smoking in bed. 

“You’re gonna get ash on the sheets,” Dennis warned him.

“Oh it’s the _ash_ on the sheets you’re worried about,” Mac teased and purposefully blew a ring of smoke in Dennis’ face.

They lounged under the covers, feeling the final waves tingle through them. There were evening birds outside and the sun streamed through into the room. It was always sunny where they were. Mac had never looked happier, more blissed out. Dennis’ mind was reeling. He could barely think straight - _hah! How fitting._ \- and he was pretty sure his legs were still jelly. He wasn’t sure what to do. Say thanks? _Woah there, white boy._ Cuddle? _No, play it cool, aloof._

Dennis shot out of bed and scrambled into his pants, grabbing a shirt from the floor at random and sprinted out the door. He could hear Mac laughing after him from the hallway.

***

He arrived at the bar just in time to see a man being wheeled away on a stretcher and Charlie and Dee watching on, shaking their heads pityingly. His breath was coming in short, harsh gasps. He was surprised he didn’t collapse on the way over. Something odd was swirling in his head. Happiness? A genuine connection? No way, Dennis Reynolds didn’t sleep with anyone out of compassion. Did he?

Dee and Charlie were staring at him, and he was suddenly aware of his dishevelled hair and the red flush of his cheeks. And Mac’s shirt. He stared down at the tank top that exposed his bare arms and they scarlet and purple bite marks and claw marks there, and the ironic slogan nearly washed out with the sweat it had been drenched in. He could still taste Mac on his lips and his tongue and he reeked of him.

_God-fucking-dammit!_

Dennis tensed up and jerked a thumb towards the office. “I’m just…gonna go into the back office.”

Dee and Charlie nodded and Dennis gingerly crabwalked to the office, quickly shutting himself in. 

Charlie smirked.

“Mac totally banged your brother,” he grinned.

Dee rolled her eyes. “God-fucking-dammit,” she hissed and handed Charlie ten dollars.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah so I quite like this series. I don't really have an explanation or anything. Sorry it's so OOC. Thanks for reading!


End file.
